Do guys find me intimidating
But as I got older, and the men I’d date started calling me intimidating as a way to weasel out of the situation we were in, I realized that the opposite sex didn’t always see intimidation as a positive thing.And in talking to my queer friends, I found that this phenomenon seems to mainly occur in heterosexual relationships.
It allowed me to fully discuss my standards and what I was looking for.
Basically, it seemed to me that if a woman is better than a man she’s dating in any aspect of her life, she’s automatically cast as “too intimidating.”I was immediately pissed, because a lot of the characteristics that men evidently considered intimidating were fundamental parts of me.
I’ve always been incredibly driven in my career, and I consider myself moderately successful.
And most importantly, it made me realize that the person in control of my dating life was me — not the person sitting on the barstool next to me.
So, to all the women who wrote me, asking me how to stop being so intimidating, I’ll say this: I’ve learned to lean into those parts of myself.